Recently, Netflix added one of my favorite shows of all time, Suits.
In medical school, I used to binge that show with my precious free time constantly. I had plenty of TV to watch between White Collar, Suits, and Scrubs, which was mindless entertainment.
I had some free time a couple weeks ago - which seems rare these days - so I started back watching Suits. I forgot how awesome of a character Harvey Specter was. The show depicted him as a cunning, sophisticated, hard-working, intelligent boss of a corporate lawyer who cared deeply about his success and others he trusted.
Harvey Specter is an excellent character, and I often ask myself why I became a Doctor instead of a corporate lawyer. I mean, look at the cars the man drove on the show. However, after spending a decade between watching the show for the first time and re-watching recently, I realize there's a lot about Harvey that I would not want to emulate.
You see, Harvey is a workaholic, and his personality is defined on the show by his professional level of success. Allowing oneself to be determined by your profession is a dangerous path. I know because it took me a while to get off that path.
As a kid, I wanted to grow up quickly. With every meal we missed, every light bill not paid, and every haircut that never occurred, I tried to make some money to take care of myself and my family. I knew once I entered the professional workforce, I could earn my living, make a name for myself, and put food on the table. That goal gave me tunnel vision that lasted well over a decade. Meanwhile, life was happening.
During that time, I missed countless opportunities to see family, go on vacations, spend time with people I love, hang out with friends, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. There was always the next step, the next objective, the next pay raise, etc. I kept telling myself I just had to get to the next thing, and that's when I would start enjoying everything else.
And just like Harvey Specter, my professional success became my identity. It's sad if you think about it, yet it happens to many high achievers.
If you don't believe me, think about all the former professional athletes who become a shell of themselves once forced to retire or leave their chosen sport early because of an injury. We all laugh at Uncle Rico on Napoleon Dynamite, but this is what we look like when our identities are tied to some level of professional success.
For the longest time, my professional success was my identity. At the Naval Academy, I was known as a Basketball player. Then, when I graduated, I became the Cryptologist and, later, the Medical Student. In medical school, I was the future surgeon. And finally, I became a Robotic Surgeon.
No one saw during that journey how little time I took to be myself. To explore hobbies, to travel, to relax. Like Harvey Specter, I cared about work or achieving the next level of success, and as a result, my profession became my personality. David, the person, always took a backseat and was just along for the ride.
That lasted until COVID-19 became a thing. Surgeries were being canceled as patients – and hospitals - deferred elective surgery. Dr. David, the Robotic Surgeon, no longer had a daily purpose. David, the person, started looking around and realized that while enjoying the ride of professional success, he had missed just enjoying life.
COVID was a harrowing journey for me, and I had to confront my mortality multiple times while treating COVID-positive patients. I remember thinking, what would happen to my family if I was no longer here, or what would they think of me? The result of that process required me to take some honest assessments about who I wanted to be going forward. Was I the Robotic Surgeon, or David, who happens to be a Robotic Surgeon? I had to find balance and rediscover what I wanted to get out of life before leaving this earth.
One thing I want out of life is more time with my family. I wanted to travel, go on vacations, enjoy the money I made, and create a lasting legacy. This starkly contrasts Harvey Specter, who was never depicted going on holidays with his friends or family. All he did was work. While I aspire to have professional success on a similar level to Harvey, I won't allow it to come at the expense of my family or David, the person.
Post my COVID-19 pandemic experience, my life is more balanced and well-rounded, and my identity is divorced from my professional success.
So, while I enjoy watching Suits and think Harvey Specter is a fantastic character, I feel bad for what he represents and hope never to resemble that character in my life ever again.
This story really speaks to me and I see it in a lot of my clients when they retire. They have no identity outside of their profession or business. No relationship with spouse , children or fiends or even hobbies. They come back looking for more work. It’s also hard to make changes when you have reached success when you come from nothing as you are always in fear of losing it all tomorrow.
Great writing and story … professional success becoming ‘the’ identity is very common especially among people that make big leaps via their hard work … but has also big downsides indeed, both actual as time goes by but also down the road later … finding that balance is hard but possible … thank you!